everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
