Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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