he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
two words: eviction party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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