Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
