you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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