Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
