shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
