Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
