I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
