Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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