Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
