he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
