my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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