i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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