maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
