Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got inside last night via doggy door
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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