Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
