Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
