You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize