I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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