Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
