Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
