I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
