I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
