I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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