good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The adults are the big ones right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
