did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
