We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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