at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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