just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
