no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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