Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
