There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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