I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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