I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
