just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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