I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
