I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
