Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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