Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
