if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
