Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
