Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
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I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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