I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
