i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
