Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
