i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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