Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
