He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
