Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
