doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
