Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
