how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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