Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im holly from the hills drunk
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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