I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
