i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize