But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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