I'm lost and stupid without you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
