she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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