I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
