I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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