Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
